Quiet Heros

The day before the 2008 presidential election, Barrack Obama learned the news that his beloved grandmother, who helped raise him, had passed away in Hawaii. Overcome with emotion, that night he gave a pre-election day speech in which he honored the woman who had instilled in him his values, beliefs and his strength as he pursued the presidency. He called her a quiet hero.

"She was somebody who was a very humble person and a very plain-spoken person,'' he said. "She was one of those quiet heroes that we have all across America. They're not famous. Their names aren't in the newspapers. But each and every day they work hard. They look after their families. They sacrifice for their children and their grandchildren. They aren't seeking the limelight. All they try to do is just do the right thing. That's what America is about."

A majority of my life was spent wanting not to be a quiet hero, but rather the center of attention. I was going to be an Olympic athlete, first as an ice skater after I saw Dorothy Hamil win the gold medal in 1976, and then as an equestrian after I saw the movie "International Velvet." If that didn't work, I'd go to Hollywood and become a movie star, or at the very least, marry one. I was going to sing, be a sports reporter and when Diana married Charles, I was going to be a princess. It was all about me and how I was going to shine.

Although fully supported by my parents, I was never pushed, as some kids are, to win an Olympic gold or marry Hollywood or European royalty. I was pushed to say please and thank you, place my hand over my heart during the national anthem and to just be nice to people. I was taught by quiet heros, many of them in fact, to simply do the right thing.

This was a lesson that took decades for me to understand and one that I still struggle with on a daily basis. I have led an extremely imperfect life. I have lied, hurt people's feelings, neglected my family, neglected myself, taken the easy way out and picked wrong when right was so obvious. I am happy to report that a majority of this activity took place when I was a teenager and young(er) adult. But on many occasions, pretty much everyday, I still have to remind myself to do the right thing. We all do.

So, who are your quiet heros? Who shaped you, molded you and taught you to at least attempt to make good decisions? Who advised you to think before you speak? And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all? I bet that a majority of the people reading this can think of a few people right off the bat. What we need to take into consideration is that not all kids have a quiet hero. Not all kids have a role model or someone to set a good example. We would hope that between parents and teachers, someone would surface in these children's lives who could teach them that violence isn't the answer and that respecting people is. We would hope that there is someone in their lives encouraging them to do their best in school, but that's not always the case. And we would hope that these kids would have at least one person who loved them unconditionally. But that isn't always true.

The time has come for us to take the lessons we learned from our quiet heros and put them into practice. We, all of us, need to stop judging people, to lend a helping hand where it's needed and to truly make this great country we live in a better place. We need to be the quiet heros for those who have none.

When my dad passed away, we knew it was his wish to be cremated. We didn't need to pick out a coffin or more importantly, figure out what to have written on a headstone. If we had, my vote would have been the following:

William C. Causey
January 30, 1938 - November 23, 2008
A Quiet Hero

LESSON LEARNED #3 - Most heros do not make the headlines.